Drizzles
by dwellingonephemeraldreams
Summary: Oneshot. Lily's drizzles have transformed into storms.   JamesxLily, 7th year in Hogwarts.


At first, she showed her feelings for him through small gestures- getting him pumpkin juice before classes, letting him be the only one to copy Charms notes off her, cheering the loudest whenever he scored for Gryffindor in Quidditch… little showers of rain that may seem trivial- insignificant, even- but it was enough to let him know that she's there, and she cares. Little showers of rain that kept him going, even though he was thirsty for more- more affection, more opening up, just _more._ But any man desperate for the rain that was Lily's love was bound to give up at some point, because Lily was reticent and she was scared and she wasn't ready, or simply didn't know how to give in to how she felt. And James did get desperate and about to give up, to just break it off because she was too emotionally closed off, and what if he hurt her while trying to get her to tell him her dreams, her fears, her passions? It would be better for her, wouldn't it? Better if he would let her be, because the unease in her eyes every time he got too close to her secrets was scaring him. Better if he would leave her alone in the world she spent so long carefully crafting around herself.

He found her alone in the Gryffindor common room, entranced by the raindrops that were slowly gliding down the windowpane. Curled up in a large armchair, she had put a bookmark in the massive tome she was reading and had taken to watching and listening to the downpour that was going on outside the castle.

"Lily." He said as he sank down to a similar armchair that was beside her.

"James." She gave him a slight smile before turning back to the window "The rain's really nice, you know? It's comforting… washes away everything…" She trailed off

"Except Snivellus's hair."

That earned him a look that was between a glare and amusement, but mostly she looked thoughtful, just like James was before realising what would be better for her, but she looked away before he could fully read her expression.

"Seriously though, Lily…" This time, it was James who trailed off, not quite sure how exactly to explain that breaking up would be better for her. Not for him, but for her. She _has _to understand that this is for her. "We should…"

"We should get married."

James could only stare. She was facing him now, temporarily forgetting about the raindrops she was so fascinated by only moments ago.

"So? What do you think?" She could have been asking him which scarf looked better on her, what with all the nonchalance she was exuding.

"I think… I think you're not thinking about what you're saying. It's _marriage_, Lil! I don't know what your view is, but marriage is kinda a lifetime deal… I mean, I know you don't have a problem with that, but I can only see so much of your face every single day." James hoped that would shed some sort of humour in the situation.

"James, my face is significantly better than yours, and I don't have any annoying habits" Lily looked pointedly at James at that statement: he was running his hand through his hair right at that moment.

"Oh, please, just because you'd rather be the one doing the messing up." He was grinning, but his mind was reeling.

_Did she just ask me to marry her?_

_She can't be serious… I'd marry her in an instant, but me not there would be better for her._

_Did something upset her?_

_Oh Merlin, I can't break up with her now, she's completely irrational._

_But when will I?_

_**It would be better for her**__._

Lily completely ignored him. "But I guess I love you, so I'll let your face and the annoying habits pass."

James was in shock. Those little showers of affection had apparently developed into a full-fledged storm, and the thirsty, desperate part of him was exultant, celebrating at this revelation. He forced that part to stop. What if she didn't mean it? What if she had just sensed his desire for something deeper, knew she couldn't fulfil it, felt guilty, and decided a marriage proposal and three words would be enough?

"James, you look like an owl. Honestly, try lowering your eyelids a little bit."

"You've never said those words to anyone before."

"I know."

"So why… why now? You… you showed emotion in…drizzles, for Merlin's sake! You barely showed anything! How do you expect me to believe it's now a storm? How do you expect me to believe that you feel like… like that?" James's voice had raised considerably. A finger was pointing towards the onslaught of water the sky was giving the earth.

Lily looked up at him from her chair with the desperation James was feeling mere minutes ago "They were… drizzles because I was scared- I was scared of going too fast, of drowning you in a…a storm… but…" A hand crept up to run fingers through her hair. She had picked up James's annoying habit. "But I don't care anymore." Her voice was stubborn, firmer. "You're drowning in my storm whether you like it or not, Potter. I don't care whether you refuse or accept my marriage proposal, but I most certainly am not breaking up with you, and no, it would _not _better for me."

"You talk pretty loudly for someone who only has himself to talk to." She said at his look of bewilderment and guilt.

"But, Lily, it's…" James started

"No."

"No?"

"I refuse. There will be no more little showers from now on, Potter, just hurricanes, so we can both safely assume that there will never be another reason to break up with me."

"I guess I'll just have to marry you, then."

"I guess I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life."

With that, Lily got up and unceremoniously curled up on James's lap instead. His arms slowly wrapped themselves around her, his lips met her forehead, and together, they watched and listened to the downpour going on outside the castle.

"Oi, Evans."

"What?"

"I love you too."

"More than Quidditch?"

"Stop pushing your luck."


End file.
